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 Spanked Kids’ Bottom As Punishment, And Now Mom Feels GuiltyRead about "Spanked Kids’ Bottom As Punishment, And Now Mom Feels Guilty " on parentingfact.com. This article, "Spanked Kids’ Bottom As Punishment, And Now Mom Feels Guilty ", will help you with your questions or concerns. We parentingfact.com, have a large number of updated articles. Please feel free in searching for more information on parentingfact.com. If you have any questions, please contact us.
Parenting Question "I always swore that a spanked kids’ bottom as punishment is something I
wouldn’t ever do. Yet this morning, I did! My daughter just wouldn’t do anything
… brush her teeth, eat her breakfast, put on her shoes … nothing. I was so
frustrated that I just spanked her bottom, then felt terribly guilty when she
wouldn’t stop crying. How I got her to school I don’t know. Funny thing is that
I heard you on the radio talking about your book When You're About to Go Off
The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You on the way home and what you
said made a lot of sense. I am like the Super Mom you spoke about and do way too
much for her. My question is this: if over the long term a spanked kids’ bottom
as punishment doesn’t work (like you say), then what can I do when she’s
acting up and driving me nuts?"- Frustrated mom who doesn’t want to spank anymore and feel guilty Positive Parenting Tip for Guilt-Free Discipline that Works! "Dear Frustrated Mom: When your child is pushing ALL your buttons, it can be hard NOT to be triggered
and do what perhaps, your parents did to you: spank your daughter to punish her.
But times have changed. Spanking only creates disharmony and disrespect in the
end. Why does a spanked kids’ bottom as punishment no longer work well? Because
today, we live in an age in which children know their rights and no longer see
many models of subservience. Parenting today in a society that upholds equality
requires an entirely new approach—an approach that motivates kids to want to be
well behaved. Here are three basic strategies that I suggest to help prevent you from using
the “spanked kids’ bottom as punishment” technique. 1. Put yourself first, for the sake of your child! Parents who go off the
deep end and are pushed to use ineffective punishments, such as spanking, are
often stressed out themselves. We’ve all heard it before, “When momma ain’t
happy, ain’t nobody happy!” One of the best things you can do for your daughter
is to start putting yourself first, so you have more self to give! Self-care
should not be a luxury; it needs to become a necessity. 2. Transform misbehavior into a learning opportunity! Children misbehave
when they are discouraged, when they feel bad. Punishment only makes kids feel
worse: that's why this solution often leads to worse misbehavior. Does this mean
letting them get away with murder? Not at all! What it does mean is looking for
ways that your children can learn from their misbehaviors and mistakes. If a
child makes a mess in the bathroom, it is an opportunity to clean up the
bathroom. If a child forgets their homework, it may mean a lower grade. If a
child has a temper tantrum and is not fun to be around, it may mean that it's
time for the audience to leave. 3. Perform a “Daring do over”! This strategy is a favorite and comes from
chapter nine of my book When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take
Your Kids With You. You are human and, like your child, you are going to make
mistakes. So be gentle with yourself. Instead of wishing you had done better
when you mess up, just do better! Ask your child to give you a “take-two” option
in which they help you reenact the same scenario, but this time you will choose
different. Performing a “daring do over” does three things: - It dissolves guilt - It teaches your child that mistakes are OK, and - It models for your child how they can fix their own mistakes in the future. These three basic strategies can help keep you centered so you won’t go off the
parenting “deep end” and resort to spanking. In my book When You’re about To
Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You, you will find over 200
practical strategies you can start using right away to motivate your daughter to
choose to be well-behaved. Pam Allen from Memphis, Tennessee just wrote to tell me my book “Is not a book
to read, but a book to live.” It takes time to learn the parenting techniques
that truly inspire our children to unleash their very best. But aren’t our kids
worth that time and effort, especially when the time we put in can result in
capable, happy and responsible kids? I believe so too! Kelly Nault, MA author of When You’re About To Go Off The Deep End, Don’t Take Your Kids With You inspires moms to put themselves first—for the sake of their children. She shares time-tested tools that motivate children to want to be well behaved, responsible and happy! Sign up for her free online parenting course here. You are free to print or publish this article provided the article and bio remain as written and include a link to http://www.mommymoments.com as above. © 2005 UltimateParent.com - All rights reserved. Article Sou
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